The fork.

A wonderful invention made by Sir Fork McForky Fork of Fork Land.

Probably.

The fork can be used for many things one of which (obviously) is to pick uo tasty food and bring it to your mouth.

The OTHER of which is...

*STAB*

"OOOW!!! GOD DAMNIT!!! THE PAAAIN!!! Wait, what's that liquid? Oh....my...God!!! IT'S MY BLOOD! MY LIFE BLOOD GUSHING FROM MY WOOOUND! ARRGH!"

How gratifying.

And for those who have yet to realise - I stabbed Tim with the fork. Now you're probably why I've been stabbing Tim with a fork.

One of the reasons is boredom...though the other reason is totally justified. Lucozade pills gave him unlimited suplies of energy. And he was practically bouncing off the walls, wait no, he WAS bouncing of his chair and exagerrating his non existantfork inflicted wounds.

Now I'd put large sums of effort in to pulling Tim out from under the tabel after he dived under it at the site of Steph. All I can say is whether your on drugs or not, that is not a way to charm a girl.

But I had to find some means of controlling Tim considering who was at this dinner, I mean if it was just me, Bruce and Tim I'd give Tim more lucozade pills just to see how much havoc he could wreak before collapsing. But not infront of Steph, I want those two to get together. Not infront of Damien and Jason I'm not giving them any ammo against Tim, he's the perfect Robin! There's also Gwen, now I'd think she'd be a bit freaked out, not just Gwen but Talia, Hunter' and Diana too. Vincent and Cass? I mean every time somebody says "why are you dating?" just say Tim set you up and you gain tons of validity but not if everyone thinks he's insane. In which case they'd just say "well he's insane!"

I stared at my plate pondering other means of handling Tim when my plate moved. I've seen strange things at a dinner table, but never this. Tim's pale hands tugged repeatedly at the beige table cloth, a tune being sung in time with the tugging. "Hit...me...baby...one...more...time!"

Oh. My. God.

This called for one thing, stabby time! Wait, I'm enjoying this way to much...oh well.

STAB!

Tim jolted violently causing the table to shake, he looked around, alarmed and confused "who's doing that" he whined.
"Who's doing what?" Bruce asked tiredly.
"Touching my thigh..."
An eerie silence consumed the room only to be (and thankfully) abrupted by Alfred who served us our drinks, why is it you never get your drinks when you're thirsty and never get your food when you're hungry? Strange.

Tim stared at his glass of water with a look that said I'm thinking before slowly turning to me and staring at me and I think between the rushing thoughts powered by caffine, somewhere, that bit of common sense that managed to survive the almight power of lucozade placed these things together. Pain on left thigh + Dick on left + Dick asked for second fork = I'm getting stabbed by Dick (too many sexual innuendos!!!). Hence why his now confused face was morphing in to a very threatening stare.

But the anger suddenly disappeared as if he'd remembered something he turned around and leaned over Damien, his face practically millimetres away from Jason's

"Did anybody tell you that you have really nice eyes" now I have nothing wrong with compliments, I doubt Jason does (though he'll never admit it) however compliments + Jason + invasion of personal space = your head in a bag. Because if there's anybody who's a huge fan of personal space it's Jason, he's such a fan he'll even beat your head in with a bo-staff for it.

"Hey everyone look at that painting" I pointed and as everyone turned round, I stabbed Tim with the fork and this time I really did right in his back. Tim did a perfect backflip and landed on his chair "ARGHHH! SCREW YOU!" he pointed accusingly at me.

"What's wrong?" asked Steph.
"That painting is, um, discriminating and controversial!" Tim proclaimed in an unsure voice.
"It's a white canvas with a black dot" stated Jason who was holding his butter knife in a threatening manner. "EXACTLY! It's saying black people are a minority!"
"They are a minority, Timothy" Diana said seemingly unphased by the insanity.
"Not in Africa!"
"We don't live in Africa, Tim, now sit down" Bruce asked, well, ordered.
"Well we should..."

Before anybody could say anymore we heard Alfred calling us to come and see the TV, I wsih he hadn't. Because I never really wanted to see my brother and sister have sex on the L.A. rooftops. NEVER. "I'm gonna put a kryptonite bullet in his brain!"

And you know what Jason, I'm gonna get my kryptonite crow bar.