Monday, 26 February 2007

Put The Kryptonite DOWN!

"If I could escape, and re-create a place as my own world ! And I could be your favorite girl, forever, perfectly together...Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet? Whohoe, whihoo, whohoe, whihoo, whohoe, whihoo, whohoe, whihoo!" I sang out loud before returning to humming the Sweet Escape.

Which reminded me, I should add Gwen Stefani to my list of women I should date, but before or after Jessica Biel?

I skidded across the ground causing my grappling hook to snap when I attempted to land in an alley way. "So much for my landing" I back flipped over a dustbin and scanned the road for any oncoming vehicles, and ran over to the lamp post.

Abandoned Warehouse Road.

Yes, there was a house called abandoned warehouse road, and no you cannot buy clothes with a 35% discount from here. If the Kryptonite was anywhere it was here, my perfectly trained instincts told me so as well as the krypto-sensor and a message I got from Batman.
I look around and see a warehouse illuminated a variety of colors, particularly green and last time I checked this road wasn't exactly a place for parties. I slip through a broken window and hid behind a stack of boxes. "Hmmm, I was thinking about 30 million? What? Maybe I'm trying to finance a movie, a movie about how you Black Mask aren't as legit as people think you are. I went to hell and back to get this Kryptonite? Lemme ask you this. Have you ever fought a guy with an electric cattle prod and light-weight adamantium armour? No. Have you fought several? No. $30 million is the asking price. Oh would you look at that, Deathstroke just offered $40 million. Call me tomorrow, I have something to sort out" he clicks of the phone and turned around.
His masked face being illuminated by the glow coming from the trunk of kryptonite, which I measured to be about 300 pounds worth. A smile seemed to be forming under his mask, "why isn't it Batsy ol'favourite" . I get up instantly and run towards him pushing the phone out of his hand and landing a solid blow on his back causing him to fall forward.

He whipped up and kicked me the in the gut taking the time to whip out a knife he slashes at me only skimming against the top of my costume allowing me to land a uppercut and wrench the dagger free from his hand.

I grab the two bo sticks of my back and he gets a gun.

"Looks like we got stalemate" I state as both of us remain in our positions.
"Really, looks to me like you have your goddamn stick up my larynx and I have a gun to your head, I'm willing to bet that my gun does more damage" damnit!!!
"What do you want?" I growl angrily, if I die I'd at least like to have a conversation.
"This shipment of Kryptonite was sent by Lex Luthor"
"Wait, wha-"
"And is being purchased by S.H.I.E.L.D"
"Shields? Do you mean Dungeons and Dra-"
"Lex Luthor is also selling various other equipment to S.H.I.E.L.D and S.W.O.R.D to get eno-"
"Sword? Im confused"
"Enough money to restart Lex Corp and set up his new presidency campaign" he paused staring at me, refusing to move the gun from my head.

"Meaning Dicky, that not only is your "side" of the superhero community under threat from the registration act because SHIELD and SWORD would've accumulated enough weapons to use against the heroes and successfully register them. Clinton and Obama, well Lex doesn't like competition especially when it's female and femminist or young and charasmatic".

Well I wasn't really under threat from the act, I have no powers but Power Girl does and one of those are large breasts. Those kind of powers do not deserve to be registered.

"Oh and Jessica Biel, she has nice thighs" Red Hood added as I suddenly feel all the wind knocked out of me as he kicks me in the chest causing me to clash against a wall as he run off.

"But Gwen Stefani has gorgeous legs, apparently smells nice, has hair that can be styled to look like you can touch the fabric of space of time anddd she has the best stomach for any 38 year old I've seen" I call out.

I rubbed my back as I limp towards the chest of kryptonite and find that it was simply just fitted in with loads of lights to give off the view that it was filled with it.

He'd delibrately led me here in order to tell me that.

This was serious.

I wonder if Halle Berry should rate lower than Gong Li, I mean lets face it Halle Berry has been named one of the most beautiful women several times but damnnit, Gong Li is hot.

HOLY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!

America's Next Top Model!

If I run, I might be able to see who gets voted off.

1 comment:

Superman said...

Thanks for trying to get get rid of that K Nightwing